​If you have fought with your spouse over money, then you probably know that money is one of the top stress factors in a relationship. In fact, disagreements over money are the second leading cause of divorce. Unlike other aspects of a relationship, however, money provides a very real, tangible, and all too limited resource over which problems with communication can erupt into full-blown disasters. But when you and your spouse are on the same page about money, amazing things can happen! 

Talk It Out (and Be Honest)
Many feel this financial infidelity is as bad or worse than physical infidelity! Financial secrets are like ticking time bombs waiting to destroy your relationship. But it isn’t always as sinister as a hidden credit card. Sometimes it’s simply a willful ignorance on the part of you or your spouse, unwilling to ask questions about the other person’s financial accounts or spending habits for fear of conflict. Take the time to sit down with your spouse and lay all your cards on the table. What's your salary? What benefits do you get? What investments have you made? Don’t forget to share those bad things too…like the balance on your credit card! While you probably know some of these things about one another, without complete and utter transparency, the ‘money issue’ will always be lurking in the background.

Establish Your Roles
People can get sticky about finances, especially when it comes time to decide who pays for what. Long story short, there’s no right answer here. Roughly a third of Americans split their bills evenly amongst partner’s salaries, while around fifty percent of households, one spouse or the others pays the household bills exclusively. The most important thing to do is, again, talk about it. Do you split the bills proportionately based on how much money you each make, or does one income go to bills and the other towards savings? Will one of you be the person who acts as the household ‘banker’ (paying the bills, monitoring savings and investments, etc.), or will you sit down once a month to review your finances as a couple? Do you split the bills proportionately based on how much money you each make, or does one income go to bills and the other towards savings? Will one of you be the person who acts as the household ‘banker’ (paying the bills, monitoring savings and investments, etc.), or will you sit down once a month to review your finances as a couple? How much money will you budget for your bills, your savings, entertainment, new clothes, etc.? How much wiggle room will you have every month in your budget, in case expenses you didn't expect come up? How much money will you budget for your bills, your savings, entertainment, new clothes, etc.? How much wiggle room will you have every month in your budget, in case expenses you didn't expect come up? In order to merge your financial lives, it's important for you to realize that you have to work as a team. Even if you ‘get’ finances and your spouse doesn’t, that doesn’t give you all the power. It means you have the responsibility to communicate what’s going on!

Create Joint Accounts
Do you trust your spouse? Hopefully, ‘yes’! While there’s nothing wrong with keeping separate accounts, merging your money is an important part of establishing trust, especially if you’re married. Extending that trust to your spouse can go a long way toward merging your financial lives. Why do you fight with your spouse about money? The answer probably lies in how you communicate. Luckily, it doesn’t have to be that way. Sit down together, decide on roles together, and come to an agreement. Together. No matter how uncomfortable it might feel at the time, it will be worth it!

Would you like to talk to someone about your money disagreements? Reach out to Traditions Wealth Advisors for guidance at Brien@traditionswealthadvisors.com or 979-694-9100.